I Know You Love Him
by Yami-chan Kagami
Summary: I know he still love the same person from the past 10 years. Why he didn't love me?   My second English fic. Mind to RnR?


Disclamer: Sekaiichi Hatsukoi belongs to Nakamura Shungiku

Warning: AU, OOC

A/N: Hello minna-san, this is my second English fic. I hope all of you like to read my fic. And in this fic I want to share about An's feeling. If you already read the manga volume 5 chapter 8 you will understand it...^^

This is An's POV

* * *

><p><strong>I Know You Love Him<strong>

* * *

><p>My name is Kohinata An, I'm 25 years old. I'm an ordinary woman who loves my childhood friend. His name is Onodera Ritsu, he also 25 years old. We always attend in the same school since we are kid.<p>

I don't know when I felt in love with him. I can't love another man than Ricchan. He's the only one for me. But, my love is just an unrequited love.

See, he never looked at me more than friends. Although our parents decided that we both got engaged. Still he treats me like a friend, nothing more. Why? I want him to see me and say "I love you". Ah~, it's just a dream, An. His feeling towards me never change.

I knew he loves someone else, I really know it. His name is Saga Masamune, his our _senpai _in Senior High School. Althought I never knew anything about Saga Masamune, but I know Ricchan always looked at him.

His eyes contact, his attitude I can read all of them, because I always watching Ricchan from behind. If he had an eyes for me, maybe I'm the lucky girl. But, it never become reality. I remember when I confessed him in Senior High School.

.

.

.

"Ricchan, I ... like you ... "I stammered a bit.

I blushed, I'm very embarrassed if I have to look at him. Since there is no sound between us, I'm forced myself to look into his face. His face looked very surprised, then he just said.  
>"Sorry ..." he muttered.<br>"Eh?" now is my turn to be surprised.  
>"I'm ... not feel that way to you, An-chan. Forgive me..."<p>

Then Ricchan walked, he left me alone. I'll thought everything he said to me. He didn't like me? Then who's the lucky girl that Ricchan love? Or maybe he didn't love a "girl"?

My tears fallen down from my cheeks. It's so painful to be rejected by him, but I'm not gived up easily. I know where he is going, he always go to the library. I knew he would see that person.

.

.

.

I ran to the library and I want to open the door. But, for some reason I can't opened the door. I felt heavy to open it, because if I opened it I can see the two of them. Yeah, Ricchan and that person. The person who Ricchan's like.

"I can't forced it." I murmumed sadly and walked away from the library.

I knew he with that person. It was so painful to see Ricchan get along with that person, even I didn't know a single thing about that person. But, I never give up. I'll try to get Ricchan, because he is my fiancee.

* * *

><p>Today is an important day in my friend's life, she'll get marry now. I'm so happy to seeing her married with someone she's love. I want to attend to her party, my mother said I can invite Ricchan too.<p>

"I should call Ricchan now." I said it with smile.

I called Ricchan, but he didn't response all my calls. Is he turned off his cell phone? Or he is busy with his business? Or he didn't want to receive my calls?

Ah, I can't take it anymore. My mind is filled up with Ricchan. I wish I can attend to my friend's wedding party, even I'm little jealous. Yeah, I have a fiancee, but we didn't get married soon.

I really want to marry with Ricchan soon, because we already engagement. But, even I said that he never admit it. He always said that our engagement just a status only. I know he can't loves me back, just the way I loves him.

But, just being beside to him it makes me happy. He still want to stay by my side it's enough. And may I make a hope that he finally could loves me back? Because he's still my fiancee.

"An-chan, let's go. The party will start soon." I hear my friend calling me.

"Ok. I'll be right there." I said it with little smile and walked to the hall.

I glanced at the entrace to see if Ricchan would coming. But, nothing's happening. Maybe he's busy after all. I just go inside the hall and the party started.

* * *

><p>Finally my friend's wedding is over. I immediately go out and wait in the entrance hall. I looked at my cell phones, it's already 11 pm. I hope Ricchan will come, at least to drive me home.<p>

I just standing and wait his coming. I'm little upset he didn't show his figure, althought I was dressed up as pretty as possible to make Ricchan happy. Then, I saw Ricchan's figure running in front of me.

"Ricchan!" I yelled at him. He turned to me and surpise.

"An-chan? Why you didn't go home?" ask Ricchan still in surprise look. He walk toward me, I'm just don't want face him right know. Maybe I angry at him?

"Ano... You know I'm busy. Please understand it," he said again. "And you always calls me, right? I thought you-"

"Why you didn't call me?" I ask him.

"I told you that I'm busy. You said that we are attending to your friend's wedding. I think it's impolite if my cell phone always ringing in the party."

"Nee, Ricchan... I want the clarity now!"

"What do you mean?"

"I know we don't have a relantionship as lovers, but is it alright if our engagement still continue?"

I'm just silent. I don't know what I must say, those words are directly out of my mouth. I'm trying to make sure about the truth. I don't like if Ricchan just ignore me. I'm glanced at him, he looking me with a surprise look.

"Did my mother said something to you?" ask him again.

"No. It's from my own mind," I replied. "Everyone seems fine with our status, and me too. I don't mind at all. Is it fine?"

"Hmm..."

"I thought you know how many times I dating a guy, but my relationship is not going well. That is, because I want to be with you, Ricchan."

Finally I can said it. I always concern about my feelings towards him. I think I blushed when I said all those words, but I'm not afraid. I want to make sure Ricchan's feeling for me.

"I know you've rejected me. But, I still love you so much, Ricchan!" I said with louder voice. No matter what happen, I want Ricchan realize my feelings.

And we become silent, there's no sound between the two of us. Maybe Ricchan still surprise when I confessed to him again. Maybe this is the second confessed or maybe three times? I don't know, because he never looked into me properly.

"I... also like you, An-chan," he muttered. "But, I can't think of you as the person who I love."

I'm just silent again, I'm trying to thinking twice about his words. He never give me a chance. My heart feel so uneasy. Did I can't become a perfect girl in his eyes?

"I've told you, right? I don't want to continue our engagement, I often told this matter to my parents. If you don't understand it, I'm sorry." he said with the regret voice.

"Maybe you have someone you love?" I blurted out.

"Eh?" he looks so confused.

"Someone who you used to like when we are in Senior High School."

"Hey, why did you bring up that matter?"

"Yeah... Because when you are dating someone, your relantionship never works out. I thought you loves me, but the truth is not."

We just silent again. I take a breath for a second, so I could continue my sentence. For me, what I'm going to say it will hurts me a lot. Because it's about _him._

"Maybe... you still liked that person?" I asked him.

I see Ricchan's expression changed quickly. Maybe my words are true? If that's true, my heart ached. I think I too hoping for his love.

"No!" he said it quickly. But, I know he can't lie in front of me. I can see that Ricchan still likes that person. "Ano..."

What? He want to say something? Then said it! Is it difficult to say something about his true feelings? Why he did holding his words from me? Nee, Richan... Could you just said it who is the person who you love?

I was trying to not thinking so much about it, but I can't. The reality always makes me realize that Ricchan still loves that person. It was so painful.

"Yeah... Maybe that's true..." muttered Ricchan.

'DEG'

My heart ached again. I felt like I'm being stab from behind, so painful. I think I would hear that words if the world will come to the end. But, I must face it. This is the reality! Ricchan still like that person, Saga Masamune.

I can't understand him. Why Ricchan like that person? Moreover, they are both men. That's a forbidden love, right? Why Ricchan want to exprierience love more difficult. I can't get him at all.

"But... I... I... just..." he murmured with blush in his face.

"Onodera!" suddenly I hear a voice called Ricchan. The two of us immediately see the figure of someone with the black hair who wore a formal suits just like Ricchan.

"Takano-san?" said Ricchan.

"Stop talking nonsense and get back to work!" said Takano-san.

"Ah, you are Ricchan's neighbors, right?" I asked.

"Actually he's also my boss at work." Ricchan replied.

I'm just silent. Why Ricchan's neighbors came at the time like this? Did he hear our conversation? If I'm thinking again, for the first time I met Takano-san, he said that I'm a Ricchan's fiancee. Did he know everything?

"We still need to clean some equipment." said Takano-san again.

"Ah yes... I'm sorry..." said Ricchan.

Enough, I can't take this anymore. I don't want to see and hear all of this. I'm sure Ricchan still loves Saga Masamune. But, why Takano-san also involved in this matter? He's just outsider after all.

"Well, I'm going!" I just walked away from both of them.

I can't bear to see them together. This is just my imagination or reality? I think Takano-san know our problems. Why he should know about it?

"An-chan, wait!" I hear Ricchan called my name, but I ignore him.

I just ran away from the hotel. And I made it, I finally in front of the hotel. It's painful to hear Ricchan stil loves that person. Really painful.

Suddenly I feel my tears are flowing from my cheek, my hearts still very hurt. Ricchan is very stubborn. Why he still loves someone who didn't know him in these past 10 years? Why he love a man? Why he didn't love me?

"Ah!" I yelled frustated.

Many people looks confused to me. But, I don't care. They would never knew what I'm felling. I just called the taxi to drive me home.

'I know you still loves him. But, it doesn't matter. I'm still loving you and I'll waiting for the day when you will loves me back.' I thought it.

I tried to stop crying, but my tears wouldn't stop flowing. The pain is still there and it won't easily to dissapear. But, no matter how much I crying, the reality never change.

Ricchan still loves that person, Saga Masamune. But, I also loves Ricchan. Maybe I'm an egoist girl, but I want to keep Ricchan for my self. I don't care if Takano-san know our problems.

Yeah, deep inside my heart I want Ricchan to accept my love. Altought he has rejected me, but I'll accept him if he finally loves me back. Can I hope it now?

**The End**

A/N: Finally, I can finish it. I'm sorry if my grammar doesn't good. But, I already try it. I hope minna-san would mind to leave a review in this fic...^^


End file.
